Monday, August 10, 2015

Meeting my friend … Again

It's been more than 11 years, when I met a guy who was quite decent but an idiot. You could ignore him, love him but surely can not hate. as time is passing by, we are growing, gaining knowledge, fighting and committing crimes together. There was a time when we hated each other and did not want to carry this burden anymore, however there was also a time when we did not want to leave. There is a certain charisma in his persona which bounded me to be around him. When he gives you all attention by listening you( It was passive though), you feel that there is someone. When he reminds you that little thing which is not little for him, you feel goosebumps. The zest when he tried everything only for you and did not ask any favor in return. He got angry over money, discussion of his love life and looking at my sad face. Some times it happened that you expect advice, time or just a meeting then it was his time to show his attitude and you are the poorest guy in the world. I admire him for listening to me and I know he secretly admire my wisdom (I have doubt on myself). In time of my fall he was not there, but he is always to teach me something when ego blinds. I felt that I had given everything which could be possible for me, but in return I was expecting which he could not do. Sadly I have to move forward and then I realised that it was not him whom I was expecting but myself.

By the way, now I am thinking that I am going off track, so moving forward we are in our path of life and don’t want to indulge in anyone’s life anymore. Its been 2-3 years, when we hardly meet each other, certainly in mobile age we can talk but on his terms and not mine. Then I learnt that one has to learn his lessons after eating bitter gourds of his plate. You can not know much from others mistakes specially when you are a kinaesthetic learner. After each year passed I thought, now I know all about relations specially friendship, but then there he is to surprise you. He invited me as a guest, and expect everything as a friend. He wanted me again to take decisions of his life and I felt that I was not America who can impose ban when I want and pulled when I wish.

After we had seen the tides of our relation's life, we both agreed on not to complain anymore. These more than 3 years of silence, after the storm; we both settled with our own filth. Then we learnt that we have to clean the mess.

When we were done with fights with our life and with each other i can say that it was his idea to meet again. After rejuvenate our memories we started again living in our past. Now I am thinking,  there is another tide waiting for us somewhere in corner. As he shares his grief, joy, hardship, luck, mistakes and accomplishments, I think of déjà vu. I am going with the flow these days as I also do not have any idea about what is there for me in the womb of time. Sometime I want to put full stop, then I agree myself with semicolon.

I was and I am scared of going forward as I was not happy with the past, I have given another chance to him. He had successfully convinced me to walk few miles and here I am waiting for another bump on the road.